The Tao Te Ching, Chapter 62, states: ‘Eloquent speech can sell emperors.’
In the realm of human communication, eloquent words can elicit respect from others.
As the saying goes, ‘A kind word warms three winters.’ A person skilled in conversation not only brings comfort to others but also reaps benefits in every situation.
The Tao Te Ching enlightens humanity on the profound wisdom of speech in a single word: restraint. [WeChat Official Account: Laozi Tao Te Ching]
Exercise Restraint
Chapter 5 of the Tao Te Ching proclaims: ‘Excessive words lead to exhaustion, better to stay centered.’
Excessive talk easily degenerates into triviality, even putting oneself in jeopardy. It is wiser to maintain inner tranquility, embracing timely silence.
Chapter 56 further states: ‘Those who know, do not speak; those who speak, do not know.’
Truly wise individuals often speak sparingly, while those who talk excessively often reveal their lack of wisdom.
Verbal excess does not equate to eloquence; often, it leads to mistakes and troubles. Silence, on the other hand, signifies prudence and is indeed golden.
The essence of silence lies not merely in affectation or reticence but in mastering the opportune moment, speaking less of the superfluous, and uttering words of substance.
Mao Sui served under Lord Pingyuan for three years, remaining inconspicuous. When the Qin state launched a massive attack against Zhao, the situation became dire. Lord Pingyuan sent Mao Sui to seek assistance from the Chu state. To fulfill his mission, Lord Pingyuan planned to select 20 individuals, but only 19 met the criteria.
At this critical juncture, Mao Sui volunteered, saying, ‘Talented individuals are like awls; they can easily pierce through and reveal their abilities. I have not showcased my talents because you have not placed me in your pocket like an awl.’
Consequently, Lord Pingyuan took Mao Sui and others, rushing to Chu overnight. In Chu, negotiations faced obstacles. Mao Sui eloquently presented the situation, persuading the King of Chu by highlighting the pros and cons.
Chu’s assistance resolved Zhao’s crisis. Afterward, Lord Pingyuan exclaimed, ‘Mao Sui’s eloquence was worth a million soldiers. If he hadn’t volunteered, I would have buried this great talent.’
Opportunities favor the prepared mind. Mao Sui’s three years of silence were not a sign of incompetence but a strategy of biding his time.
Chapter 73 of the Tao Te Ching advises: ‘Speak not, but respond skillfully.’
When the timing is unfavorable, speak less or not at all. When the opportune moment arrives, seize it and respond effectively.
Not speaking does not mean refraining from speech; rather, it signifies pinpointing the crucial points when one does speak.
Flies and frogs incessantly make noise day and night, but people pay no attention. However, a rooster’s crow at dawn resonates, rousing everyone from sleep.
Speak less, be proficient in silence, and one will make fewer mistakes and earn others’ respect.
Make Few Promises
Chapter 63 of the Tao Te Ching advises: ‘Light promises lead to little trust, frequent assurances lead to great difficulties.’
Those who speak lightly and make easy promises often lack credibility, while those who underestimate situations face unforeseen challenges.
Chapter 17 further states: ‘Lack of trust leads to lack of credibility.’
In one’s actions and words, lacking integrity results in a lack of trust and assistance from others.
Promises must be kept, actions must yield results; these are fundamental principles everyone should adhere to.
During the end of the Qin dynasty, a man named Ji Bu was known for his integrity and trustworthiness, gaining many friends. People used to say, ‘Getting a hundred pounds of gold is not as valuable as getting a promise from Ji Bu.’
After Xiang Yu’s defeat, Ji Bu, who had served under him, was wanted by Liu Bang. However, with the protection of his old friends, especially the intercession of Xiahou Ying, a founding hero of the Western Han dynasty, Liu Bang not only spared Ji Bu but also appointed him as a court physician.
People who keep their promises naturally receive help, while those who break their promises often find themselves isolated.
Chapter 8 of the Tao Te Ching states: ‘Embrace benevolence and trust in your speech.’
In dealing with others, practice kindness and selflessness; in speaking, uphold promises and sincerity.
Keeping promises is not difficult; for uncertain matters, refrain from grandiloquence and making rash commitments.
Making fewer promises and ensuring they are kept will earn trust and universal acclaim.
Avoid Excessive Disputation
Chapter 81 of the Tao Te Ching states: ‘Trustworthy words are not ornate; ornate words are not trustworthy. The wise do not argue; those who argue are not wise.’
Trustworthy words are not always eloquent, and eloquence does not guarantee trustworthiness. Good-hearted individuals are not always skilled in debate, and skilled debaters are not always good-hearted.
Chapter 22 further states: ‘Do not boast of yourself; thus you will have results. Do not assert your worth; thus you will endure.’
Avoid self-aggrandizement and cultivate virtue silently, achieving success easily. Avoid arrogance and maintain humility in all endeavors, ensuring long-lasting achievements.
Truly wise individuals are often taciturn in speech but keen in action, not always engaging in arguments or boasting.
According to the anecdotes in Su Shi’s ‘Various Thoughts on Ai Zi,’ there was a story: There was a man from Yingqiu who, though not knowledgeable, loved to debate with others. He asked Ai Zi, ‘Why are bells hung under large carts and around camels’ necks?’ Ai Zi replied, ‘To warn pedestrians to avoid them when they travel at night.’ He then asked, ‘Why are bells hung on tall towers? Is it also to warn pedestrians?’ Ai Zi answered again, ‘It is to prevent birds from building nests on the tower and keep the tower clean.’ The man continued, ‘Hawks’ tails are also hung with bells. Is it to prevent birds from building nests on the hawks’ tails?’ Ai Zi replied, ‘It is to remind the hunter that when the hawk’s string gets entangled in the branches, he can rescue it in time.’ Finally, he asked, ‘Why are bells shaken in the hands of the mourners leading a funeral procession? Is it also to prevent entanglement in the branches?’ Ai Zi concluded, ‘The mourners are paving the way for the deceased. Perhaps this person loved to argue in life, so shaking the bells allows him to enjoy one last moment of joy.’ This story illustrates that those who love to argue and boast, like the man from Yingqiu, are eventually compared to the dead, seemingly witty but ultimately humiliated.
In life, many people love to argue and boast, but the path to truth and righteousness does not lie in argumentation or bragging; it lies in practice and quiet cultivation.
Chapter 45 of the Tao Te Ching states: ‘Great debate appears clumsy.’
Those with profound wisdom and genuine insights might seem slow because they understand the principle that ‘deep waters flow quietly.’ Such individuals do not engage in unnecessary debates or boastful
speeches. They choose their words carefully and act sincerely, embodying true wisdom and simplicity.
Avoid excessive arguments, prioritize genuine cultivation, and one will comprehend the essence of matters and cultivate profound virtues.
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Chapter 22 of the Tao Te Ching states: ‘In moderation, there is gain; in excess, there is confusion. Hence, sages hold simplicity as the standard for speech and action.’
Speaking little leads to greater gains, while excessive words lead to confusion. Therefore, wise individuals always adhere to ‘moderation’ as the fundamental principle of speech and action.
The greatest wisdom in speech lies in this: Speak less, make fewer promises, avoid excessive arguments. This is the essence of the art of communication.
